Sep 6, 2020

A Collection of Short Posts 2

 Short posts I made on LinkedIn

Do rewards motivate people to behave in the desired manner, or do they just attract people motivated by rewards?

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Soldier pinned down by enemy fire: "Fire Control, this is Foxtrot. We need close air support now! Over."

Fire control reservist (who is a Business Analyst in civilian life): "Foxtrot, that's a solution, not a requirement. What do you REALLY NEED? Over"

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If you fail to plan, plan to be agile.

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If you like putting out fires you should be a firefighter.

If you like recovering after a fire you should be in disaster recovery.

If you like tallying up the cost of fires you should be in accounting.

If you like analysing tradeoffs between the risk of fire and cost of prevention you should be an analyst.

If you like preventing fires you should be in safety or quality.

If you like monitoring distant fires and where they are heading you should be in risk.

If you like playing with fire you should be a scientist.

If you like harnessing fire you should be a manager or engineer or entrepreneur.

If you like starting fires you are just an arsonist.

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If you attended a course that teaches how to do better in IQ tests, and you did get higher scores afterwards, did your IQ get higher, or did you just learn how to do better in IQ tests?

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A Collection of Short Posts 1

 A collection of short posts I made on LinkedIn:

The MoSCoW priority labels coincidentally also describe Hitler’s and Napoleon’s changing attitudes toward capturing the eponymed city:

Must have it
Should have had it by now
Could have it still if only
Won’t have it.

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Not everything that matters can be measured
Not everything that can be measured matters

To twist JFK’s words:
Ask not what you can measure
Ask what measures can do for you

To badly paraphrase Einstein:
Everything that matters and can be measured must be measured, but no simpler

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Carpe diem caveat – “Seize the day”, not “cease the day”. The intention may be the former; the result may be the latter.

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Continuous improvement must seek to do two things: make existing processes better, and stop introducing new bad processes in the first place.

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Remind your audience that THERE IS such a thing as a stupid question -- it’s the question you keep to yourself.

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Lots of people talk about 'Systems Thinking'. What's the verb for doing systems thinking it? Shh... be quiet, I'm systems thinking!

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If you believe that user stories are requirements, try calling them 'user requirements'.

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What's the term to describe the opposite of scope creep -- when scope keeps getting reduced because we're running out of time or budget?

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I Have A Joke, But...

Inspired by, "I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant" (floating on the internet)...

I have a project management joke, but it's still in the concept phase.

I have a risk management joke, but there's no appetite for it.

I have a requirements analysis joke, but it's not functional.

I have a logistics management joke, but I can't deliver it properly.

I have a Scrum joke, but it's not empirical enough.

I have a Scrum joke, but we'll have to do a retrospective afterwards.

I have a Lean joke, but I never remember it just in time.

I have a Kanban joke, leave your card here and I'll tell it to you.

As an Agile proponent, I want to say I have a joke, so that people can get amused.

I have a systems thinking joke, but I have to say it with 30 others jokes before you'l get it.

I have an andon joke, but you have to stop me if I'm telling it the wrong way.